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Wild Pigs

   A chemistry professor in a large college had some
exchange  students in the class. One day while the class
was in the lab the professor noticed one young man
(exchange student) who kept rubbing his back, and stretching
as if his back hurt.
       The professor asked the young man what was the
matter. The student told him he had a bullet lodged in his
back. He had been shot while fighting communists in his
native country who were trying to overthrow his country's
government and install a new communist government.
      In the midst of his story he looked at theprofessor and
asked a strange question. He asked, 'Do you  know how to
catch wild pigs?'
    The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the
punchline. The young man said this was no joke. 'You catch
wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the woods and
putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it and begin to
come everyday to eat the free corn. When they are use to
coming every day, you put a fence down one side
of the place where they are used to coming. When they get use
to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you
put up another side of the fence. They get use to that
and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four
sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side. The pigs,
who are used to the free corn, start to come through the
gate to eat, you slam the gate on them and catch the
whole herd.
       Suddenly the wild pigs have lost their freedom.
They run around and around inside the fence, but they are
caught.
    Soon they go back to eating the free corn. They
are so used to it that they have forgotten how to forage in
the woods.  The young man then told the professor that is
exactly what he sees happening to America . The government
keeps pushing us toward socialism and keeps spreading the free
corn out in the form of programs such as supplemental
income, tax credit for unearned income, tobacco subsidies, dairy
subsidies, payments not to plant crops (CRP), welfare,
medicine, drugs, etc.. While we continually lose our freedoms --
just a little at a time.
    One should always remember: There is no such
thing as a free lunch! Also, a politician will never provide a
service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself.
    Also, if you see that all of this wonderful government
'help' is a problem confronting the future of democracy in
America , you might want to send this on to your friends. If
you think the free ride is essential to your way of life
then you will probably delete this email, butGod help you
when the gate slams shut!
    A government big enough to give you
everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you
have.
Thomas Jefferson
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Yo ho ho....

Time for a new thread.
 
What better post when you need a post than hearty congratulations to the U.S. Navy and specifically the Seals for the spectacular rescue of Capt. Phillips yesterday. 
 
I happen to own a rifle which is capable of hitting someone in the left eye at 1000 yards, but I can't even imagine making a shot like that from the deck of a ship at sea.  Multply that times three, and you know we've got some serious shooters in our Navy.  Add to that the fact that the captain was in imminenet danger and they become three pressure shots.
 
To update a phrase....three shots...three kills.  I saw a t-shirt at the last gun show I went to that said," I am a sniper.  You can run, but you'll just die tired."  Love it!
 
A few dead pirates sends a loud message, and you can tell the message hit home by the sound of squealing coming from Somalia....
Let's see if they try THAT again....
 
God bless....
 
paddy
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Take me out to the ballgame.....

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Q.:  What is the sweetest sound known to man?
 
A.: No contest.  The crack of the bat!
 
Yes, I know...baby's cry, ocean waves, V8 engine, Sinatra, Led Zeppelin, horse winnie.....all exceptional.
 
But the crack of the bat is the greatest sound of them all....a truly American sound.  To paraphrase Terence Mann in "Field of Dreams," America has been built, erased, and rebuilt again and again....but "baseball has marked the time."  It's still 90 feet to first base and 60 ft. six inches from pitching rubber to home plate; The grass is still green and a home run still changes everything.
 
Today is Opening Day.  Everybody is in first place...just for a day.  Grab a hot dog, some peanuts, and head for the park or pull up a chair in front of the TV.  This is a quintessential American holiday. 
 
God help me I do love it so.....!
 
God bless....
 
paddy
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Grandma's Letter


granny gun-thumb.jpg
She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car..
She writes:

Dear Paddy,
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a
Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly
sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir
performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.
So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that followed.
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in
thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that
the light had changed.
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't
honked, I'd never have noticed.
I found that lots of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy,
and then he leaned out of his window and screamed,
For the love of God! '
Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started
waving and smiling at all those loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him
yelling something about a sunny beach.
Saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger
stuck up in the air.
I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.
He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window
and gave him the good luck sign right back. My grandson burst out
laughing.
Why even he was enjoying this religious experience !! A couple of the
people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of
their cars and started walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is
when I noticed the light had changed.
So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove on
through the intersection.
I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection
before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to
leave them after all the love we had shared.
So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the
Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful Christian people!
Will write again soon,
Love, Grandma
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A St. Paddy's Recipe

green beer.jpg
 
I provide the following recipe as a public service:
 
Ingredients:
 
One twelve ounce bottle of beer, any variety
One drop - green food coloring, any variety
 
Instructions:
 
Empty the contents of the bottle of beer into a mug or glass
Introduce the drop of green food coloring into the mug or glass
Gently stir
 
Serves one
Repeat as necessary
 
 
God bless....
paddy
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The Constitution according to paddy


"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other Liberal bed-wetters.

We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."

ARTICLE I:
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but No one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II:
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is Based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; But the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III:
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV:
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. (This one is my pet peeve...get an education and go to work .. don't expect everyone else to take care of you!)

ARTICLE V:
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI:
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII:
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII:
You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!)

ARTICLE IX:
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X:
This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English! is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (lastly....)

ARTICLE XI:
You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!!

 
Hat tip to State Rep. Mitchell Aye of Georgia
 
God bless....
 
paddy
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Well....it's a day late.....

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...but February 22 marks the one year anniversary of Paddy's Pad.  Time flies, no...?
 
In some ways, it seems like yesterday; in others, it seems as if this place has always been here.  We have lost some charter members along the way....and they are missed.....but some were unable to grasp the concept of this little on-line lounge:  a place to get away from the strife, kick your shoes off, fire up a cheroot, crack open a cold one and relax with friends.
 
We have picked up a few new friends along the way, and they have filled in for departed comrades nicely.
 
I still find great amusement in the fact that the people in who's company I most desire to be are in Ohio and Florida and Arizona and Colorado and assorted other locations around the country.  In SoCal, I am surrounded by the dreaded "other."
 
Neo, Keith, Vpat, Clarity, Seehawk, Marystella, Col. Guano (apologies to those I may have missed), you are the charter members....the ones who remember the faulty first steps and feeble attempts to remain under the radar.  We still could use some more of the company of Scarlet, Dusty and the dearly missed One Hot Minute.
 
I want to say thank you all for sticking with this post even through some very thin times.  Things have changed since November, and this post has changed too....but I know we will all find our way back to the full-time strength in unity we had before the country decided to turn itself into a 19th century anacronism.
 
By the way, I have created a bumper sticker.  It will be interesting to see if it catches on.  It says simply:   Change it back
 
Thanks to you all, and God bless.....
 
paddy
 
 
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Droppings

steaminghorseturd.png
A new regime, a new award.  Somehow, I don't believe the previous one is offensive enough.  As of January 20, we have embarked on a journey the like of which none of us have ever seen...indeed they have only been hinted at (think Carter Administration).
The first winner of our new award has taken six days to begin to dismantle the moral fabric of our society.  He has reversed the Bush Administration's policy of banning federal funds to overseas abortion advocates; he has moved to give the states the power to set their own air standards; he, while campaigning on the promise of "change" has appointed nearly every Clinton era advisor and official he could get his hands on, plus threw in a Holder and Geithner for good measure.  He has also managed to be angered at the fact that a reporter asked him a question, halted military tribunals and stated that he will close the facility at Guantanamo Bay without saying what an alternative might be, and begun his assault on right-wing radio.
All in six days... 
Well, since he is the messiah, we can only presume that he will be resting today, but no matter.  For the inaugural (pardon the pun) award for January 2009, congratulations B. Hussein Obama.    You are truly....droppings......
 
God bless....
 
paddy
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An honorable man leaves the stage...

President George W. Bush waves prior to boarding Marine One ...
So we have a new President.  Perhaps you've heard...
The local L.A. news anchors seem to reach orgasmic heights with the mere mention of his name.  Yesterday was not just another inauguration....it was a sacrament.  A new covenant, perhaps.  Disgusting.  Embarrassing.  This is the news media....the people's watchdog?  Their adulation of this no-more-than-average man leaves many of us wondering if the whole world hasn't gone crazy.  Maybe it has.  Maybe it's supposed to....
As mind-numbing as all this may be, my focus remains on the good man who has just vacated the office now being occupied by the people's messiah.  Truly this man behaved with class and dignity all through.  To say he was wronged over the last eight years would be a monumental understatement.  But he endured...silently.  Much like the Man who lived 2,000 years ago whom most of us rightfully worship, he opened not his mouth. Maybe he should have defended himself...  It drove many of us crazy that he would not....but that was not his way.
He kept his head down and his eyes forward and focused on his goals....on what he believed was right.  He was a man of conviction...a man of prayer.  He exhibited more strength and character these last eight years than many of these newly discovered worshippers have shown in their entire lives.
This country is a lot better off because of the presidency of George W. Bush.  A LOT better....  No faux-newscaster/commentator can change that just by saying it ain't so. 
We owe a huge debt of gratitude to this man.  I pray we will see this debt paid in my lifetime......and in his.
God bless President George W. Bush.
 
paddy
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Merry Christmas

We are now just a week away from the celebration of Christ's birth.  For Christians everywhere, this is a time of reflecting on the immeasurable grace of God.  "For God so loved the world...." is a familiar refrain, and we can never completely comprehend how much it cost Him to provide our redemption. 
That little baby sleeping peacefully in a feeding trough would one day suffer like nobody else in order that we may be reunited with our Creator.
But at Christmas, the focus has always been "Peace on earth, good will toward men."
May it be so with all of us.  Let us put aside our differences and focus on our Savior..."lying in a manger."
I wish each of you a very Merry Christmas, and a joyous and prosperous New Year.
 
God bless.....
 
paddy
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HAOM November

horses_ass.jpg
What to do...what to do....?? 
I haven't been spending that much time on the Townhall main blog the last few weeks.  Call it post election blahs, or just a lack of issues I'm especially fired up about and you have one worn out Irish cowboy in a laconic state.
The result of this malaise is that there is no poster I'm especially peeved at right now.
I do have an obligation, however, to cabal members and HAOM fans in general to provide a new whipping boy the last Monday of every month, rain or shine. It appears that as a result of all this, we will again be choosing our HAOM from outside the rank of Townhall posters.
So this morning I steeled my nerve and asked one question:  who is the biggest horses' asss you can think of at this moment?
It came to me immediately.
So without further doo doo, for his uncommon ability to foul things up, inspire panic, change his mind from one minute to the next, reward his friends with taxpayer money, and STILL manage to leave things worse off than he found them, I give you the November Horsesassofthemonth, the man Stephen Forbes called the worst Treasury Secretary we've had in modern times:   Henry M. Paulson, Jr.
 
God bless.....
 
paddy
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Happy Veterans Day

General Patton



















Today is not only Veteran's Day, it is General George S. Patton's birthday.
 
A hearty salute to all who have worn the uniform, and a fond remembrance of a great leader.  This country could use a few more like George Patton. 
 
God bless....
 
paddy
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HAOM October

horses_ass.jpg
Time flies...  It's already time for another Horses'assoftheMonth. 
 
I had a candidate all picked out, but I've decided to go out of protocol with this months pick. 
 
Over the last few months, the presidential race has been getting pretty intense.  The things we knew as sanity seems to have disappeared in the midst of all the Obama propaganda.  It's enough to drive you insane.
 
As Halloween approaches, I wonder what could be scarier than the prospect of Obama in the White House with Biden and Pelosi in the line of succession behind him, and a filibuster proof Congress.  The horror.....!
 
The real horror, however, is so many ignorant Americans willing to jump on the bandwagon for a clearly unqualified and seriously dangerous presidential candidate.  Listening to them over the last few months, and now approaching crescendo, they have clearly taken leave of their senses and label any disagreement as racism, cowardice or blasphemy.
 
So for October, the Horses'assoftheMonth is the generic Obama supporter.  I realize this may not be very satisfying to HAOM fans as there will be no one person to congratulate (or badger), but I can't think of anyone more deserving of the title.
 
So congratulate an Obama supporter this afternoon, but as always, do not tell him what for.....
 
Yes on 8....McCain for President.
 
God bless....
 
paddy
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Atheist Holiday

In Florida , an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, 'Case dismissed!'

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, 'Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah...yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!'

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, 'Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate his own atheists' holiday!'

The lawyer pompously said, 'Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?'

The judge said, 'Well it comes every year on exactly the same date---April 1st! Since our calendar sets April 1st as 'April Fools Day,' consider that Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture, he is a fool, and April 1st is his holiday! Now have a good day and get out of my courtroom!!

Way to go, Judge!  AMEN
 
God bless....
 
paddy
 

 
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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD???

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change! 

 JOHN MC CAIN: My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. 

 SARAH PALIN: I can guarantee you two things, if a chicken crossed the road, that #1) it wasn't a Russian Chicken, and #2) it didn't cross any road in Alaska. We keep watch 24/7 for any Renegade Russian chickens. And I (we) are indeed qualified to handle this diplomatically. No Russian chicken has ever breached the U.S. during my watch. 

 HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me. 

 GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. 

 DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun? 

 COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road. 

 BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken? 

 AL GORE: I invented the chicken. 

 JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. 

 AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens. 

 DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems. 

 OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. 

 ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. 

 NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. 

 PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. 

 MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. 

 DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?  Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told. 

 ERNES T HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone. 

 JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay!  Can't you people see the plain truth?  That's why they call it the other side.  Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.  And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too.  I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side.  That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that. 

 GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road .Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. 

 BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road. 

 ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. 

 JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. 

 BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted. 

 ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? 

 COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

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