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HAOM September

Well, it's the last Monday in September.....time to award the HorsesAsss of the Month.
 
This month, I have chosen a particularly irritating individual.  He is well known for what he refers to as "paleo-conservatism," which to me is just a big steaming pile.  He never tires of telling people he is more conservtive than they are, and that modern conservatism is not real conservatism at all....all this while siding with the Obama people pretty much all the time.
 
He has taken the moniker Cicero, after the Roman philosopher.  The original Cicero was murdered.
 
Be sure to congratulate Cicero on winning the September Horses'Asss of the Month, but as always, don't tell him what you're congratulating him for.
 
God bless....
 
paddy
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What's Wrong with this Picture....?

What a waste of a good hat! 
 
This is audacity, alright.  The 8% black community organizer from Chicago is now going after the all important cowboy vote!
 
I got some bad news for ya there, Barry:  the only cowboy votes you're likely to get are of the 'brokeback' variety.
 
Remember, never call a man a cowboy until you've seen him ride.  This simple wisdom applies to much more than this man's horseback riding abilities.
 
p.s. - I can't say for sure, but that appears to be a woman's hat.
 
God bless....
 
paddy
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Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

> I know I have people ask me what the differences are and
> this pretty much sums it up for everyone.
>
> Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?
>
> Here is a little test that will help you decide.
>
> The answer can be found by posing the following question:
>
> You're walking down a deserted street with your wife
> and two small children.
> Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes
> around the  corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises
> Allah,  raises the knife, and charges at you.
>
> You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are
> an expert shot.
>
> You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your
> family. What do you do?
>
> THINK CAREFULLY AND SCROLL DOWN:
>
> Democrat's Answer :
>
> Well, that's not enough information to answer the
> question! Does the  man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to
> him that  would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What
> does my wife  think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun
> like a  club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the
> law say about  this situation? Does the pistol have appropriate safety
> built into  it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of
> message  does this send to society and to my children? Is it
> possible he'd be  happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to
> kill me, or  would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab
> his knees and  hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing
> me? Should I  call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to
> raise taxes,  have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier
> street that  would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing!
> I need to  debate this with some friends for few days and try to come
> to a consensus.
> ...........................................................................
> ..............................
> Republican's Answer:
>
> BANG!
>
> ...........................................................................
> ............................
> Redneck's Answer:
>
> BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
> Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
> BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
> Click
>
> Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the
> Winchester Silver Tips
> or Hollow Points?!
>
> Son: Can I shoot the next one?!
>
> Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist
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Black September

It was on this date in 1972 that terrorists entered the Olympic compound in Munich, Germany and took the delegation of athletes and coaches from Israel hostage.  I was 15.  I was in High School.  It is the first time I can recall hearing the word "terrorist," but obviously not the last.
These particular slime-buckets killed 11 of their hostages.  Many more innocents have since been killed by similiar slime-buckets, cowards all who lack the courage and fortitude to fight like men but instead prey upon the innocent.
We have been at war with terror in our hearts ever since.  We have been their victims, and we have been their victors.  One day, we will be their conquerors.
If there is one thing President Bush has done right during his time in office, it's that he has taken the fight to the terrorists.....put the U.S. on offense, if you will.  His strategy of hit them so they can't hit you has been enormously successful.  We are on the verge of victory in Iraq, and Afghanistan will soon follow.
We are also preparing to cast votes in an election that will, in effect, result in continuing our fight against these subhumans, or giving it up and having "hope" that they will decide not to hit us again.  The first choice is logical; the second, madness.  If we take our security in this country seriously, we must continue to take the fight to the terrorists.  To stop now will mean our soldiers have died in vain, and almost ensure further attacks against our country....our innocent civilians.
Yes, there are other factors to consider:  neither candidate is very strong on border security and the illegal populations will continue to grow whomever we choose; one is for gun control, the other favors our Second Amendment rights and has chosen an NRA Member as his Vice-Presidential nominee; one would raise taxes and nationalize health-care, the other would reduce taxes and keep health-care private.
It is easy to see that there are distinct differences between the candidates which should make choosing one a simple thing for the majority of us. 
I urge all to consider all these things and cast your ballot for the candidate of your choice come November.
 
God bless....
 
paddy
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August HorsesAssofthe Month

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
It was a close competition this month...there are so many liberal trolls to choose from all of a sudden.
 
However, the winner picked today to get into it with this posts' namesake, and that probably put him over the top.
 
The winner of the HorsesAssof theMonth for August 2008.....King Liberal.
 
Remember to congratulate him when encountered, but as always, don't tell him what for....
 
God bless....
 
paddy
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Happy V-J Day

Yeah, I know....I used this picture for V-E Day too, but this photo was actually taken on V-J Day, August 14th, 1945.  With all this talk about the Russkies in Georgia, this anniversary has been completely overlooked, as was V-E Day. 
This victory was not something to overlook.  The Germans were fierce and tough, but they wre civilized and for the most part treated enemy combatants civilly and with respect (that does not necessarily apply to the SS or Gestapo).
The Japanese, however, were another animal entirely (figure of speech, not ethnic slur). They fought under a warrrior code called bushido, which descended from the Samurai class of the preceding four centuries.  There was no such thing as an honorable surrender, and they regarded Allied prisoners who did so as subhuman and unworthy of respect.  In many cases, prisoners were killed for no reason, sometimes even for entertainment purposes.
Japanese troops were sent to occupy islands the higher command felt would need defending.  When this did not prove to be the case, they were simply abandoned.  Hundreds of thousand of troops were left without provision on Pacific atolls.  They were forced to turn to cannibalism, and regularly ate American and allied KIA (you don't see that in the John Wayne movies, do you?).
Therefore, I wish a very happy V-J Day to all, and a special salute to all who participated in this most brutal of conflicts.  This one must never be forgotten, and we can be grateful to God that it ended short of a boots-on-the-ground invasion.
 
God bless
 
paddy
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Moving on from the Stalin Disappeared bin.....

A man is jogging by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the 
lion's cage.

Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to
pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The jogger, runs to the cage and hits the lion
square on the nose with a powerful punch.
 

Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl,
and the jogger brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A New York Times reporter has watched the whole event.  The reporter
says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do
in my whole life.'

The jogger replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind
bars.  I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.'

The reporter says, 'Well,  I'm a journalist from the New York Times,
and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page ... So,
what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have? '

The jogger replies, 'I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.'

The following morning the
 jogger buys The New York Times to see if it
indeed brings news of his actions, and it
 reads, on the front page:


'U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS 
 DETAINED AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH'
 
What a world.....what a world.....
 
 
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Brob

horses_20ass03.jpg
That's right, it was a close competition, but the winner of the July Horsesass here at Cheers is the inimitable Brob.  Be sure to congratulate him next encounter, but don't tell him what for.  Perhaps that will be all it takes to finally push him over the edge he's been walking.
 
God bless....
 
paddy
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World History 101

For those who slept through World History 101...... here is a condensed
version.

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/
gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would
go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were:

1. The invention of beer, and
2 The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer, and the beer to the man.

These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together were
the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals
2. Conservatives

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet,
so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be
invented, they just stayed close to the brewery That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night
while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as
the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off
the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BB Q's and doing the
sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal
movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became
known as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
the invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution of the
Hollywood actor, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to
divide all the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by
the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of liberal women have
higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal
injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists
are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it
wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for
their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone
who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other
conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and
decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more
enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in
Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the
Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for
nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.......

It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily
respond to the above. A conservative will simply
laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it
will be forwarded immediately to other true believers, and to more
liberals...just to p1ss them off.

Have a great day
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Take Down the Bird Feeder

    
    
    
I  bought a bird feeder. I  hung
  it  on my back porch and  filled
  it  with seed. What a beauty  of
  a  bird feeder it is, as I filled  it
  lovingly  with seed. Within  a
  week  we had hundreds of  birds
  taking  advantage of  the
  continuous  flow of free  and
  easily  accessible  food.
  
But  then the birds  started
  building  nests in the  boards
  of  the patio, above the  table,
  and  next to the barbecue.  

Then  came the poop. It  was
  everywhere:  on the patio  tile,
  the  chairs, the table  ....
  everywhere!  

Then  some of the  birds
  turned  mean. They  would
  dive  bomb me and try  to
  peck  me even though I  had
  fed  them out of my  own
  pocket.
  
And  others birds  were
  boisterous  and loud.  They
  sat  on the feeder  and
  squawked  and screamed  at
  all  hours of the day and  night
  and  demanded that I fill  it
  when  it got low on  food.
  
After  a while, I couldn't  even
  sit  on my own back  porch
  anymore.  So I took down  the
  bird  feeder and in three  days
  the  birds were gone. I  cleaned
  up  their mess and took  down
  the  many nests they had  built
  all  over the  patio.
  
Soon,  the back yard was  like
  it  used to be.... quiet,  serene
  and  no one demanding  their
  rights  to a free meal.  

Now  let's see.
  Our  government gives  out
  free  food, subsidized  housing,
  free  medical care, and  free
  education  and allows  anyone
  born  here to be an  automatic
  citizen.
  
Then  the illegals came by  the
  tens  of thousands.  Suddenly
  our  taxes went up to pay  for
  free  services; small  apartments
  are  housing 5 families;  you
  have  to wait 6 hours to be  seen
  by  an emergency room  doctor;
  your  child's 2nd grade class  is
  behind  other schools  because
  over  half the class doesn't  speak
  English.
  
Corn  Flakes now come in  a
  bilingual  box; I have  to
  "press  one" to hear my  bank
  talk  to me in English,  and
  people  waving flags other  
  than  "Old Glory"  are
  squawking  and  screaming
  in  the streets,  demanding
  more  rights and free  liberties.
  
Just  my opinion, but  maybe
  it's  time for the  government
  to  take down the bird  feeder.
  
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R.I.P. George....

george_carlin.jpgCarlin-1.jpggeorge_carlin.pnggeorge-carlin.jpg
I can't let the passing of someone like George Carlin go without a post.  Love him or hate him, it's hard to imagine anybody getting to the minimum age of a Cabal Member (which is a secret) without having been aware of him.  His career began normally enough, but soon, he became known as a "counter-culture" comedian.  Suddenly we were hearing routines about dirty words and drugs.  His routine comparing baseball and football was particularly inspired for the time, and I also recall a wonderfully zany routine about trying to smoke pot in the restroom of an airliner.
Carlin was known as someone who pushed the boundaries, and as a Christian, it is easy to say that he crossed it on many occasions. This life, however, has enough serious moments and sometimes we need a guy like him to make us see the humor in the situation and laugh at ourselves.
Unfortunately, based on his occasional shots at religious matters, we can only hope that he changed his heart and found peace with the Lord before he passed. Most of us were that way at some point and found our way back, so perhaps he did as well. After all, humor is a gift from God, and George certainly had this gift.  Rest in peace George, and thanks.
 
 
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Picture Puzzle.....

fire.jpegRawBasketNew.jpg
 
This one should be easy, but then, that's what I said about the last one....
 
Hints:    Legalized homosexual marriage; rights for enemy combatants; increased Social Security withholding; increased taxes; mandatory retirement account withholding; global warming legislation; inheritance tax; Pelosi; Gore; Obama.  That should be enough.
 
First Cabal Member with the correct answer wins a hearty "Atta boy/girl" from your host, and a prized spot in front of the hi-def plasma TV for the All-Star game next month.
 
Good luck..!
 
God bless
 
paddy
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How Stupid We've Become....

SCHOOL -- 1958 vs. 2008

Scenario:
Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1958
-
Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2008
-
School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to
jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for
traumatized students and teachers.  

Scenario:
 
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1958
- Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2008 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

 

Scenario:
 Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1958
-
Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2008 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

 

Scenario:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1958 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2008 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse.  Billy removed to fos ter care and joins a gang.  State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.  Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.
 

Scenario:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1958 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2008 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.  

Scenario:
Pedro fails high school English.
1958 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2008 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher.   English banned from core curriculum.  Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.  

Scenario:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1958 - Ants die.
2008 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with  domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.


Scenario:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary.  Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1958 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2008 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison.  Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy
. 

  
This should hit every e-mail to show how stupid we have become!  

Thanks to my sister, Molly O'Furniture, for the above.

God bless....

paddy 
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Operation Overlord

D-Day-paratroopers.jpg
Shortly after 0000, the canopies began to open. 15,500 U.S. paratroopers and almost as many British began landing behind enemy lines to harass, confuse, and suppress the German defenses.  At 0300, aerial bombardment of the French beaches commenced.  A short time later, the fleet joined them.  At 0630, landing craft aimed for beaches code named Gold, Juno, Sword, Utah and Omaha.
In all, over 130,000 troops were to land on those beaches with support from over 195,000 Naval personnel as well as the French Resistance.  It was the largest armada and the largest invasion force the world has yet seen.  64 years ago today. 
They have been celebrated for their accomplishments of D-Day and over the next few days: "The Greatest Generation," "Saving Private Ryan," "Band of Brothers," "The Longest Day." But this was a different kind of man from a different America.  They didn't want accolades.  Those fortunate enough to return home after the war declined to discuss their exploits.  They didn't think of themselves as heroic....they were just doing a job.  You want heroes, they said, go look under those perfect white crosses and Stars of David in the military cemetaries.
Now these men are mostly gone. All of them in their mid- eighties and beyond, they have lived their lives, raised their families, held their grandchildren on their knees and gone to their reward.
We do not live in a world like that anymore.  We live in a world where a careless word uttered in fatigue or frustration can come back 20 years later to derail your career or your political aspirations.  We live in a world where the press has ultimate power to persuade, and in order to hold on to that power, is far more willing to propegate lies to the ultimate detriment of their own country than to speak the truth.  They say they regard troops as heroes, but they are willing to publish classified information that results in American deaths; they cover up for lying politicians who share their dangerous philosophies and manufacture scandals about those with whom they disagree, and they destroy anyone who dares get in their way. They are the greatest danger faced by Americans, who spend countless hours listening and watching .....and following.
So on June 6, 2008, let's remember the young men who walked this earth and fought for freedom 64 years ago.  God blessed us with a Greatest Generation then.  Let us pray that another such generation may come along and save us.......from ourselves.
 
God bless...
 
paddy 
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Time for some Neocon Candle-blowing

Well, the official birthday has passed, but it's never too late to wish an official Happy Birthday to one of the founding members of this Cabal.  So to Neoconscum,  greetings and felicitations upon reaching the 19th of May once again. (And besides, we needed a new post...!)   :-)
 
God bless....
 
paddy
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